The birth of a child is supposed to be one of the happiest times of your life. But after I welcomed our second child, Piper, I started having intense panic attacks. Since I had never had one before, I ended up in the ER, because I had no idea what was going on, or what was wrong with me. After my scans and CT came back clear, I was sent home without answers. After chatting with a few friends, and processing my experiences, I realized I was having panic attacks about breastfeeding; people had expressed they were uncomfortable about me nursing in front of them, and I was trying to accommodate them by feeding my baby before they arrived…so stressful!
I thought everything was going okay, but about 9-10 months later, I was having wildly shifting mood swings, and didn’t feel like myself. I told myself it was the weather, being cooped up, and beginning the weaning process from breastfeeding. I thought maybe my hormones were changing, but I felt so frustrated, irritated with everyone, sad, and depressed. The doctor put me on anti-depressants, which didn’t help at all. The side effects were miserable, and I knew I wasn’t suffering from traditional depression. I finally came across the Bitch Fix podcast and after one episode that described all of my symptoms, I signed up for a consultation with Christine.
After chatting with Christine I knew I needed her help, I was hesitant because of investing so much money into myself. What if it didn't work or if it was going to be too hard, and I just threw away my savings? It felt like a huge risk. I'm so glad I did it!! It was all trial and error and a lot of work, and still a work in progress but I feel like myself again. I’m me again. A normal mom who has normal hard times or challenging days, but who feels like herself again.
After getting my labs drawn so she could see what needed some work, she walked me through which vitamins I needed to start taking. I felt like an 80-year-old and had to get my own pill case. After seeing my food journal, she started having me add and remove things from my diet. It was Christmas season so I was off to a pretty slow, rough start, since cutting out sugar when it's cookie season is not easy! In January, I was told to cut out gluten from my diet. I was pretty leery of the idea, and living in a small town, I wasn't sure if it would be possible to maintain this diet. After 2 weeks, I was ready to quit. I had never felt WORSE, and I had no idea why. I reached back out to Christine, and found out I was suffering from very normal withdrawals. I stuck it out for 6 weeks, and I felt alert, genuinely happy, and I wasn’t lashing out at my loved ones for no reason. I’m now fully gluten-free, and I am careful about how much sugar I consume. I’ve realized sugar greatly affects my sleep and ability to be a patient, energetic mom. Gluten messes with my brain, and I feel pressure, which causes me to have stress, anxiety, and panic attacks.
During my talks with Christine, we would also have little therapy sessions and she would help me manage my thoughts if I was having a bad week. I struggled telling people I couldn't eat gluten because it sounds so crazy that it makes my brain feel bad and not my stomach. Going out to eat is not nearly as easy as it used to be, and I'm pretty limited on my choices. Fast food is not even worth trying to eat. It was a big lifestyle shift. With all of the changes, she helped me feel confident in telling family and friends why I wasn't able to eat something they had made for me. I'm still working on things, but if I know in advance where I'm going to eat I can sometimes google the menu to find food that works for me. I said goodbye to traditional cookies, cakes, brownies, and noodle salads, but I have wonderful friends who make amazing accommodations for me (I am so grateful!). They’ve even made gluten free biscuits and gravy for me!
I’m thankful I took the risk and took back control of my physical and mental health, and I am amazed at the difference that a dietary change has made for me. You can view Christine's website HERE.
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